Satisfaction

Why did I start this blog?
This thought keeps bouncing around in my head every time I come here to write a post. I know I wanted to blog when I started. I still do. I feel like there's a strong impetus in me that says "let it all out!!" that I can't ignore. Yet, I feel that I lack purpose.

I doubt this blog will have a singular focus, just as I doubt I will have a regular posting schedule. I have always loved writing, as I find it a very creative outlet that is intensely satisfying in a way that many other ventures lack. I still think back to my favorite class in high school, Creative Writing. While it's certainly not the most imaginative name, that class was heaven for me.

We arrived in the morning (it was a first period class), and there would be a prompt on the board. We had notebooks just for this class, and we were to write based off the prompt until the teacher started class. That was usually a 10 minute writing session or so. Talk about getting the juices flowing! I LOVED that class so much. The teacher (Mr. Farley, which always makes me think of the Richard Scarry books) was friendly and fun to listen to, and always had the best prompts. He mixed it up too - half the time it was an image, not words, that were our prompts.

I tried to find my favorite image he used, a black and white illustration (either pencil or charcoal) that I think was from a book, of an ocean liner coming toward you, the viewer, in the center of a city with skyscrapers. The ship was pushing the buildings with its sides, and threatens to overtake the viewer within a moment. Google Images yielded nothing, however I don't know the source material or artist, which makes GIS much less successful!

I miss the structure that class provided, the framework within I had to work to create something. I adore making all sorts of things, but I seem to do  best when given boundaries. Complete freedom to create whatever I want leads to me flitting from one thing to another like a butterfly with coffee! Lest you think me this amazing super woman, when I flit from thing to thing, I don't finish ANY of them. One day I will show you my craft room (aka The Pit That One Dares Not Enter) so you can see the extent of this problem.

It's bad, folks. Real bad.

I have found several places on the web that provide writing prompts, and am sort of hoarding those for the days when I NEED to write, but am drawing a blank. Today was one of those days, until I was reading another blog that posed the question "why do you blog?"

One thing the writer mentioned was needing a goal. This is so true for me! I need a goal in order to be motivated to do just about anything. I know there are some people who do things because either it has to be done, or that's just the way it is. I just don't function that way! I do laundry when I don't have enough clean clothes, not on a regular basis because it needs to be done. I clean our room when I can't freely move around in it anymore, not when it starts to get messy. No, I will not be posting pictures of our bedroom, it's so far beyond embarrassing that there's just no hope. Not even Obi Wan can save our room.

There are many specific things I could list as my goal for this blog:

• Chronicle of my foray into running
• Sharing & receiving feedback on my photography
• Mom/family life
• Avoidance of becoming a "mom blogger"
• Brain dump playground
• Something else entirely that I have yet to think of

Instead, as all these things factor into my life and I hate being pinned down, even by my own goals, these will not be my blog goals. I will have a single blog goal. One that is difficult to pin down, but is incredible when it happens. A goal that I hope to achieve each time I hit "publish" on these posts. A purely selfish, non-world-changing goal.

To be satisfied.

That's it. The glow of satisfaction that came over me after that high school writing class is one that I aim to reach again, via this blog. Simple, but esoteric and elusive. Here I go, reaching for satisfaction.