Monday, June 9, 2014

Commitment is terrifying

Hey there readers!

During my blogging break, I've been getting a few things in order as far as my health and physical fitness goes. Part of this process has been to invite my dad to join me at the gym as a workout buddy, which has been a wonderful thing for both of us. Getting to see him regularly each week is a total blessing, and so very good for my mental health as well.

My dad and I are similar in a lot of ways, and our minds are scarily similar. Due to this phenomenon, the beginnings of feeling fit and healthy have sparked his imagination in incredible ways, and he's made a couple of suggestions to me. Seeing the pure joy and fulfillment wash over my dad's face each time we set foot in that gym is extremely rewarding to me, and of course it's awesome for him too!

He started off the other day by telling me how he'd gotten this "wild" idea, based on my doing the Spartan Sprint in 2013 (which I never blogged about, it would seem, for a number of reasons), and now he is talking about doing the Sprint in 2015. That would give us just over a year to get ready, which is doable.

If, and it's a big IF...if I were to commit to doing this with my dad, and we both completed it, we'd then get matching Spartan tattoos. Not the logo, mind you, because we're both rebels like that, but something that encompasses the Spartan spirit.


There's a ton wrapped up emotionally and mentally in actually committing to a "yes" on this to my Dad, so I haven't made a decision yet. The Sprint last year broke me, physically and mentally. There were tears at the end, and I literally hobbled for a month afterward. I still have trouble thinking about the race in its entirety, and thinking of subjecting myself to that again...I just can't fully say "yes" yet.

At the same time, I've been looking up training methods, how to replicate the tougher obstacles at home for training, and imagining how I could actually conquer this thing instead of it mocking me and whipping me every step of the course. I've looked on Craigslist for tractor tires, and I've created an entire section of my planner to training, complete with a list of what I need for the more unusual training items.

Similar to a discussion I had earlier this week with a few friends, I feel like I have actually made up my mind, and I'm not ready to admit it to myself yet. I really don't know.

Committing to a Spartan race is scary enough. Having been through it, KNOWINGLY committing to it again is terrifying.

So why do I get excited butterflies when I imagine doing the race with my dad??





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