Monday, August 20, 2012

10 Things I've Learned About Marriage

After 10 years of marriage, I've learned a few things about my husband, but mostly about myself:

  1. He cannot, in fact, read my mind, or yours. Speak up! This saves resentment building, and frustration coming out over something stupid like the blankets on the bed being crooked. Trust me on this one.
  2. Spending time together is never, ever a mistake, even when it's something miserable like taking samples of your daughter's poop. (yes, really. The couple that gags together, stays together.)
  3. The sex gets better. It really does!
  4. I avoid confrontation and arguments, in all forms. I hate arguing. I hate it to the point of physically avoiding it - I will leave the room or the house. This is not a good thing, I know, but putting my head in the sand is just so much easier!
  5. I have childish tendencies and they work against our relationship sometimes. He calls me on my crap, like leaving the house during an argument, so we can work things out and not let them fester.
  6. He shows his appreciation rather than saying it. He appreciates my housework (the little I do), and pitches in, in his own way. Just yesterday we bonded over the magic of the Magic Eraser!
  7. The harder life gets, the deeper our relationship is. Sounds cheesy and cliche, but it is so true! Having someone go through the darker times with you helps you see the silver lining, and walk with you through it all. That's a strong bond on its own, and when you already have a bond, it just adds more threads to that weave that keeps you together.
  8. Never stop trying to be romantic, sweep your partner off his or her feet, and taking care of yourself for them. Yes, they may be your partner/spouse/long term SO, but continually doing these things keeps the sparks alive in your relationship. When I say "taking care of yourself for them" I don't mean trying to achieve visual perfection for your partner, I mean taking care of yourself. Eating well, staying healthy, etc so you can be around with your partner for the long term. So you can be there for them.
  9. Argue in front of your kids. Seriously. Show them how adults can disagree, and work it out. You're human, and it's important that your kids understand that, and while you guys are a parenting team, sometimes you'll disagree and need to talk about it. Obviously, there are things that don't need to be talked about in front of your kids, but once in a while, let them see the other side of relationships. It helps foster healthy relationships for them with their peers and future SOs later on.
  10. Pray for your spouse and kids. The "power of prayer" is an overused phrase, but prayer is powerful. God is all-powerful, and He does amazing things. We need but ask. I am so incredibly thankful for this man that came into my life and swept me off my feet, little by little. My mom has reminded me over and over that she and my mother-in-law prayed over their children as they grew up, for a Godly partner to be raised for them. I can think of no greater gift for my child than this.

What have you learned from  your relationship?


  1. What great tips, and all so true.

    Found you on SITS and thought I would come visit

  2. Great list! I love the gag together, stay together line! :0) Stopping in from SITS.

    1. Thanks! I think it's so easy to laugh together...but man, the person who sticks by you while you collect poop samples and try not to hurl? THAT person loves you a heck of a lot.


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