Friday, January 18, 2013

3 Things That Terrify Me

In case you missed it, the other day I announced the launch of Portland Sirens! Please check it out if you're needing a Valentine's Day gift for your partner, or a little self-love :)


Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

I would like to interject here that a fear is a fear - whether someone else considers it "legitimate" has no bearing on how that fear affects your life. My fears may not be reasonable, but they are all legitimate.

  1. The dark. I'm not talking just a darkened room, that's generally ok. I'm talking dark enough I can't see anything at all, or just barely make out shapes. It doesn't just make me uncomfortable, it truly terrifies brain goes into overdrive and immediately that bookcase is a serial killer hiding in the corner, just waiting for me to come close enough for him to make his move. My mind doesn't stop there, it goes into gory detail about what would happen, how the end result would look and my family's reaction. Every single shape or shadow turns into an instant threat, and I've taken to carrying my phone with me even when I get up in the night to pee, because it has a flashlight on it, and I can shut down that crazy train.
  2. Spiders. As a general rule, bugs don't bother me. I don't particularly like them, but I'm fine with "live and let live" with most bugs, because God created each of them to do some job in the world. Spiders, however, operate on their own agenda. I don't do the whole "scream and run out of the room" deal if a spider is spotted (mostly because I become frozen in fear), and it really depends on the type of spider, but generally, spiders seem to follow me, drop on me, otherwise assault my person and do everything they can to push my panic buttons. I don't appreciate surprise contact from other humans, so spiders why do you think it's ok from you?
  3. Losing my job.  While I do want to become self-sufficient, it is not something that is in the cards right now, and we need my job to help us stay financially afloat. This has nothing to do with the economy and how hard the job market is (though that does factor slightly into the fear), and everything to do with how unstable my current position is. It's in a market that is heavily season-dependant, and as I deal with the financial end of things, I personally get to deal with how strapped we are in the off-season. Any time there's a closed-door meeting, I can barely breathe until that door opens again and no one calls me in to join them. One of these days, I will get to leave of my own accord. Until that day, I live in the fear that this security blanket will be ripped out of my hands.

Question 2 of "30 Things My Child Should Know About Me"


  1. I am now going to give you the best spider advice I know which was handed down to me by my roommate in college many, many years ago. SPRAY THEM WITH HAIRSPRAY. Then have a hairy exoskeleton and IT FREEZES THEM. You are then free to freeze yourself, or grab your shoe without worrying they will run up your arm. This advice changed my life.
    (And I firmly believe they have a sense about people like us because spiders drop down on me all the damn time.)

  2. Eek, I so hate spiders too. I seriously FREAK.


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