I"m getting ready to leave the country for Belarus y'all!! I might be a tad manic right now..my anxiety is on high alert, I just got to have lunch with my girl Ester, and I've been reading the most hilarious blog ever invented in the history of history.
In that vein, she inspired me. I've been reading through all the back posts, because context just doesn't even matter when you're as funny as Allie is. One of her old posts is about Googling herself to see what's up, and using Urban Dictionary. I've used that on my name, and it's crazy! SEE?
- One of the coolest people you will ever meet. She is always there when you need her. She likes to kiss her guy friends. She got that cashflow. Drives a silver mustang, and dont take *#@^ from no one. (I don't kiss my guy friends. Love you guys but...no. That mustang better be a 64 1/2 or I'm not driving it.)
- The most loving, beautiful, caring and amzing girlfriend.
You're best friend. (I've left the spelling/grammatical errors as they are on the site, because if Urban Dictionary doesn't bother to fix them, why should I?)
- Wondeful in millions of ways. There are no words that describe the sheer radiance of this beautiful creature. Wise beyond her years she can tap into nature and reveal all of its secrets with nothing more than a smile. An angel in disguise she is free-spirited and fun loving. Recognized as one of the most sensual and erotic lovers. One could only wish to tame this wild temptress. Graced by god."ohhhhh Kristin.... OOOOhhhhhhh Kristin!!!!!!" (kapow! this is now my bio in every online site that allows me to create one)
- a language used by someone who wants sex, used to turn people on."i wanted to bone her, so i talked kristin." (I had no idea that I, amazing as I am, had become a language. Thus begins my plot to overthrow Hollywood with MY version of sexyawesomegoodness.)
- Sexy B*tch and a sex goddess, no one can ever imagine..."Wow...now she is a kristin!" (While I've been called one of these things, I'm guessing people can imagine..at least SOME can. *wink*)
- A brown skinned urban goddess. Intelligent, Beautiful, and Interesting, Kristin can be a man's upbringing as well as his downfall."He thought no one to be as beautiful as Kristin." (It's because no one CAN be as beautiful as me...EVER. Even though this guy is clearly not talking about my pasty self.)
- A beautiful girl who is a bit shy & likes to wear puffy shirts.
Known for making killer strudels and sarcastic remarks."Damn that strudel was tasty"
"Must have been a Kristin strudel" (This is funny. I totally wore puffy shirts back in the day, way before I ever watched Seinfeld! I'm also a bit shy (I'm getting better, I promise!), I've never made strudel but it would probably kill you because I suck at food stuffs, AND MY WIT IS SHARP LIKE A RAZOR SO WATCH YASELF FOO.)
But, Allie doesn't simply go to Google.com and punch in her first name.
No, she puts in "Allie looks like" and sees what comes up. COULD YOU BE MORE BRILLIANT ALLIE?
So, I decided it's time for me to do the same.
Here's what I found!!! (sorry, no awesome screenshots, my computer won't do them. *pouts*)
- Kristin looks like hell on the airplane...it's morning. Will and Kristin in row 14 en route to Orlando ...holla! Kristin looks like hell on the airplane...it's morning. Kristin on the airplane ... (I fully expect to look like hell on the airplane. Who DOESN'T?)
- Kristen looks just like a cross between Chyna and TA2 Maria! Gawd, that's one of the worst If They Mated scenarios. ... (So, between a misspelled country and a lady with a random acronym in front of her name...)
- Kristin looks like she just dumped a bottle of shoe polish on her head ... (oh dear, sorry about that guys.)
- Kristin looks like an exact mixture of Sarah Jessica Parker ... (this had an interesting link, where I discover another blogger did the same thing 4 years ago...)
- Kristen Looks Like Michael Jackson (I am rather pasty...)
- smart.: Kristin C. looks like a hooker Jun 9, 2006 ... No, she looks like someone who threw a pair of shorts and coverup overtop a bathing suit to run out and grab a drink. I do it all the time. (Sometimes I look like a hooker, but I don't do shorts, ever.)
- Kristen looks like Joan Jett. (OMG I wish)
(PS - I have no idea why this list is randomly spaced. I think WP knows bout my OCD issues and decided that it was going to laugh in my face, spraying spittle on my cheeks as it makes my brain go broken trying to fix it.
UPDATE: it's only randomly spaced on the backend. When it's published it's fine. Thanks WP...just..thanks.)
That's the end of the interesting ones. Most are about Kristen Stewart or other actresses who stole my name. I have no witty wrap up for all this...I"m at work, going stir crazy because I"m not home to be getting ready for my BIG TRIP ACROSS THE WORLD.
You guuuyyyysss!! I leave in EIGHT FRIGGIN DAYS.